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Circular saw…

June 5, 2011

I thought we didn’t have our work boots on,

and got out-muscled down low in our end,

and got out-muscled down low in their end,

and thought they really took it to us…

But we talked about adjusting different things,

especially our work ethic…

— Alain Vigneault, RAW

Yesterday,

we added,

a new addition,

to our family,

through an open,

adoption…

And the first night,

as is typical,

when a family reconfigures,

was a little unsettling,

for the cats,

mostly,

because they’d never,

before seen,

a rabbit,

so it was rather alien,

to them…

I have almost,

as many dreams,

about rabbits,

as I have dreams,

about horses,

and the Vancouver Canucks…

So instead,

of just leaving those visions,

hanging in the ether,

I pulled another one down,

into the physical,

straight off,

of Craigslist…

This rabbit,

has been through a lot…

His mom told me,

all about,

his bouncing,

from home to home,

and back again…

And when we went,

to pick him up,

she worried,

that he would think,

that she hated him,

because she was handing him over,

to a home,

she thought,

would give him

what she thinks,

he needs…

I told her,

the words,

I needed to hear,

when I helped my dog,

over the rainbow bridge,

and the vet said,

You need to know,

that a lot of other people,

would have given up,

on this dog…

But you never did,

and because of that,

he is very grateful…

I still feel,

waves of guilt,

for what I think,

I did,

and didn’t do,

for my dog…

Especially,

that I now,

know how,

to sit still,

and contemplate,

my navel,

when before,

I was so distracted,

by everything…

I had a dream,

a few years ago,

that I was carrying,

an eleven year old boy,

in my arms,

over streams,

and through the woods,

trying to find someone,

who would help me,

with him,

because I didn’t know,

what to do…

As I went,

from person,

to person,

not ever wanting,

to give up,

on him,

each one,

shook their head,

and said,

I’m sorry…

There’s nothing,

to be done…

And even though,

this boy,

appeared to me,

this time,

in a human body,

I knew,

deep down,

he was,

the same being,

as my dog…

A few nights,

after that dream,

Little Gem,

came into my bed,

in the middle,

of the night,

and said,

I had a nightmare,

that people wanted to kill,

Sammy Boy,

but there was nothing,

wrong with him…

I once heard a man,

tell a story,

about how after,

he brought,

his son home,

from scheduled vaccinations,

at eighteen months old,

his son had a seizure,

and the seizures never stopped…

And the amount of energy,

coursing through his body,

during the many seizures,

he has in a twenty-four hour period,

for the rest of his life,

is the equivalent energy,

it takes,

a man to run,

a marathon…

And the doctors,

told the father,

Every time,

you son has a seizure,

there’s a chance he could die from it…

Don’t bring him back,

to Children’s Hospital,

there’s nothing,

we can do…

And one year,

this boy,

who is now a man,

had a teacher,

who said,

I want him,

in my class,

because I see the effect,

he has,

on all of the other students…

His way,

of being,

calms,

everyone down…

We live in a world,

where the dominant discourse,

continues to impose,

judgement,

on who is of value,

or not,

based on,

expired views,

of mass production…

In Game 2,

of the final round,

Manny Malhotra’s

face-off stats,

were mind-boggling,

given the chances,

that were undoubtedly stated,

by doctors,

pre-surgery…

But what the doctors,

didn’t know,

during the time,

in the OR,

was that,

some other forces,

were at play…

And these forces,

never subtract,

from the need,

for medical miracles…

They only seek,

collaboration,

and openness,

to a bigger picture,

of differentiation,

which is not,

immediately,

obvious,

and defies,

conventional values…

And the colour,

of the force,

is pink…

This morning,

as the Canucks charter,

took off,

for bear country,

I made bacon and eggs,

while Little Gem,

focused on her constructions…

She came to me,

in the kitchen,

and said,

Mama,

I’ve been working really hard on this…

And it hasn’t been easy…

See,

the horses live underneath,

and up on top,

is where the guests can stay,

in the second story…

I got chills, they're mulitplying...

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