Horses never lie…
On a cold rainy Spring day in 2007, Little Gem, Starshine and I walked along Pender Street from our house to Tinseltown for a Sunday matinee…
We went to see The Last Mimzie which, if you can filter out all the Hollywood super crap, pathetic script, and adult over-acting,
has something to say about what children know and adults forget,
and perhaps where we can go with our future,
if we put some thought into it…
As we were watching I asked my daughters,
Can you see things like that?
They both looked at me like I was SLOW or something and said,
Uh, yes…
Don’t you???”
I had to admit that I don’t see things at a molecular level…
There may have been a time when I could,
but the disconnection program of the ‘real world’ is a highly effective brainwashing…
Little Gem is always talking about atoms and molecules…
She says she can see things in millions of pieces…
This Monday I watched the Last Mimzie with the children of some friends of mine,
as part of my armchair research on heightened sensory experience…
I wondered,
Do you see things like that???
C. Mona said,
I used to,
but not anymore…
C. Mona is making the big jump from elementary school into middle school after Labour Day…
Maybe one day she’ll start to see other things,
like the energy all around us…
I’ve seen her younger sister communicating with animals,
silently,
with her spider sense…
During our walk through Chinatown to the Last Mimzie, we passed a man laying on the sidewalk…
He was asking for spare change…
I thought of the ten dollar bill in my wallet and told him that I didn’t have any…
He was still there on our way back home,
after the movie,
in the very same spot…
Again I said,
Sorry, no change.
The next day Little Gem climbed on my lap while I was reading and writing…
She said,
You lied to that man…
that man on the sidewalk…
You did have money,
and you didn’t give it to him…
I did some quick thinking,
trying to be foolproof,
The man asked for spare change,
and I only had a ten dollar bill…
The ten dollar bill I just used to buy the whipping cream for our dessert…
Little Gem gave me a look that was not impressed…
She walked off as only she can and returned with her tu-tu shaped piggy bank…
Mama, can you open this up for me???
I did…
Can you help me count up this money???
I did…
Then she said,
I have this idea…
I don’t know if it came from a past life or from when I was a baby,
but from now on I am going to keep half of my money for the things I need,
and I’m going to give half of my money to other people for the things that they need…
Little Gem put her spare change in a pretty little purse…
For the next time we go walking...
The week after I was called on my lies I got out of my car one day,
and there was a five dollar bill,
right there, where I put my foot down on the road…
I thought about Little Gem and the idea she had from this life,
or a past one…
If I had given that man on the sidewalk the ten dollar bill I’d had in my wallet,
I’d be following her math of generosity…
I’d have given the man half for what he needed and still have half for what I needed…
I gave that five dollars away to that same man when some weeks later I saw him sitting across the aisle from me while I was riding the bus,
minding my own business…
We exchanged knowing smiles…
From that day on I started to keep twenties in my car…
I didn’t hand them out to everyone,
just when I had a feeling that said,
NOW…
Sometimes the feeling was so strong it made me drive around several blocks again after passing by someone who looked like they were about to follow death and all of his friends…
And I started throwing spare change out on the sidewalk in front of my house…
I saw my next door neighbour, Jeffries, picking up the coins one day…
I asked him if he could please put them back…
Lay the spare change down on the ground and just watch from his house to see what could happen…
A few moments later two little girls came skipping along the sidwalk with their mom…
They squealed when they saw the nickels and pennies,
Pennies from heaven!!!
making their day a little more magic…
With sacred geometry...
A neighbour gave me ten dollars to go see the movie,
Happy Go Lucky, which is neither here nor there…
He told me,
You need to go see this movie right NOW…
On the way to Tinseltown,
to see this movie right NOW,
I saw a woman in the alley scratching away at the pavement,
in the cold dark, rainy night…
I said,
Excuse me, can I give this to you???
handing her the ten dollars…
She looked at me like I was handing her a million and said,
Thank you…
You get the feeling like no one around here cares…
now I can go to a shelter for the night…
May God bless you…
I’ve already been blessed,
more than a million times…
I know what you’re thinking…
What does any of this have to do with hockey???
Well, just in case you need some learning assistance I’ll make the Canuck’tion for you…
We don’t know what REALLY happened in that cab with Patrick Kane and his cousin,
shame on bloggers for thinking and writing that they know anything about the truth,
and shame on any of you for consenting to a belief in stories that are manufactured for mindless consumption,
it is time to wake up from your slumber…
FYI: Hollywood tabloid blogs, and gossip, are junk food,
So if you want your corpus callosum to be a super highway you need to watch the vehicles you’re driving through your mind…
Thoughts and words are cars…
Ask yourself if you’re running on empty???
And if you believe that it really is worth fighting over twenty cents,
put down your finger guns and do some simple reflection…
ONE has nothing to lose,
and everything to gain,
by breaking millions into a thousand tiny pieces…
Violet hill…
This past spring I discovered,
through much pain and the heat of fear,
that my ferritin (iron) levels were nearly non-existent…
Dropping to levels this low takes a long time…
And when you’ve been running through life,
for years,
on adrenalin,
it is tricky to notice and feel,
your exhaustion,
until you start to winder’all down…
The process of getting to rock bottom,
is a slippery slope of feeling like next to nothing…
Floating around in the dark,
like you might be a ghost…
There are gifts to this experience…
Being this transparent,
ethereal,
and open to other worlds is a lot like what I read about,
in The Teachings of Don Juan: a Yaqui Way of Knowledge…
Only I didn’t need to hunt for the just the right roots,
to grind them into powders…
No iron in my blood,
with a few other secret ingredients,
was my Mecalito…
And my learning came,
by being fully present,
to my bodily experiences…
All of them…
Listening to the messages,
that blocked energy was telling me,
as it came to the surface for healing…
As Don Juan tells Carlos…
When a man starts to learn,
he is never clear about his objectives…
His purpose is faulty;
his intent is vague…
He hopes for rewards that will never materialize for he knows nothing about the hardships of learning…
He slowly begins to learn — bit by bit at first, then in big chunks…
And his thoughts soon clash…
What he learns is never what he pictured,
or imagined,
and so he begins to be afraid…
Learning is never what one expects…
Every step of learning is a new task,
and the fear the man is experiencing begins to mount mercilessly,
unyieldingly…
His purpose becomes a battlefield…
No one ever told me this when I was in school…
But as a maturing learner,
fully immersed in what is happening right now,
in the school of real life,
I know all about the clashing of thoughts,
and hard core fear…
There is no easy way,
and there is no where to hide…
I also know this from giving birth,
two times,
at home…
Our bodies,
with all their wisdom,
will not let us run from our fears…
We can suppress and distract ourselves for so long,
even self-medicate,
but eventually the truth comes up,
to look through us,
straight into the eyes,
of our brave hearts…
Carlos asks Don Juan…
What happens to the man who runs away in fear???
Don Juan tells Carlos…
Nothing happens to him except that he will never learn…
He will never become a man of knowledge…
He will perhaps be a bully,
or a harmless,
scared man;
at any rate,
he will be a defeated man…
He must not run away…
He must defy his fear,
and in spite of it he must take the next step in learning,
and the next,
and the next…
He must be fully afraid,
and yet he must not stop…
That is the rule!!!
And a moment will come when his first enemy retreats…
Then the man begins to feel sure of himself…
His intent becomes stronger…
Learning is no longer a terrifying task…
While giving birth I connected to an awareness that I could surrender,
to the incredible power that I held inside of me…
Knowing that my body knew just what to do,
when to do it,
and that I could trust the uncertainty of what it could feel,
but couldn’t yet see…
I’ve been told by experts that I have a very efficient uterus…
When your body takes 27 minutes to push an eight pound baby through your birth canal,
and out past your perineum,
there is no way around the experience…
You have to go right through the ring of fire,
and then suddenly,
after great effort,
you find yourself on the other side,
in full relief,
with a new baby in your arms…
No more pain…
And what’s even better,
no more fear…
And then again,
after some time passes you can’t remember any more what was so hard…
You start to believe that you just breathed your baby out…
Maybe even laughed your children into the world…
Yesterday at the river,
while floating around in the current with a bright green noodle,
Little Gem reminded me,
Mama, the water is so cold…
It takes me breath away…
But I wanted to get in there…
So I forced myself…
I knew that it would be okay once I got into the water…
Once I relaxed…
And now look at me…
I’m loving it…
For you, the sun will be shining... (photo: Vincy)
Clean flush…
What does it mean when every time your children return home after spending half the week with their father,
within one hour of being with you,
each go to roost,
one upstairs and one downstairs,
and return looking lighter and refreshed???
And often when you’re speaking over the phone with an honest friend,
she tells you,
ten minutes into the conversation,
without skipping a beat,
that she has to go number two,
and that this is good,
and she only has one other friend,
who has the same effect on her,
and that in your classroom your students who usually can’t go at school,
can???
Should teachers whom,
by their very presence and frequency of inner peace,
relax their students enough so that they can relieve themselves,
and freely cry tears of release,
at school,
be recognized,
as having special qualifications???
What would the world be like if we could all move our bowels,
in peaceful privacy,
and weep as soon as the urge arose???
On another note,
today I went to my daughters’ school for Sports Day…
When I arrived,
all of the children and staff were in the gym,
stretching to music…
The feeling of spirit filled me with such intensity,
I had to leave the room and cry…
Crying for just a few seconds…
I told two parents about this…
They said that they could feel it too,
and that they wanted to cry,
but chose to block it…
I mentioned this to the principal…
He looked pleased,
as he scratched the top of his head…
I didn’t ask if he felt an opening to spirit through his scalp…
I didn’t have to,
because I could feel it too…
And then I was chatting with a teacher,
whom I’d just recently met,
on a field trip to the Anthropology Museum,
about his sore throat…
He told me that it wasn’t getting better,
and how difficult it is to heal yourself,
at the end of the school year ,
when there is so much to do,
and you just can’t stay home sick…
I asked if his ears had been bothering him…
He said,
Yes…
He had a feeling like water was swishing around in them,
and that his brains were leaking out of his head…
I said,
I don’t know if this will resonate with you,
but I wonder if your ears are preparing you,
to listen differently…
Maybe they’re trying to filter out negativity,
and all of the lies we’ve been sold…
Maybe they’re trying to lead you to silence…
The rings of resonance sounded…
What does this have to do with the Canucks and hockey???
Well,
I wonder if player performance,
and team cohesiveness would be enhanced with the regularity,
of impressive evacuations,
and a good cry…
A clearing of tension,
and old vibrations,
allowing the stars to shine…
Maybe scouts should be looking for players,
with that kind of effect on a team…
A relaxed centre,
with good bathroom humour,
could shift the NHL towards a whole new set of criteria,
in the hunt for up and coming rookies,
who have that something extra to offer…
As for stadium atmosphere,
the pre-game Oh Canada would certainly become a collective tear jerker,
if only it were sung by a child…
We would sing and dance around because we know we can't be found...
Canuck'd 