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Split seconds…

February 11, 2011

Little Fur hung her head…

“I did want to ask you something…”

“You are curious about the fox,” the owl said…

“Is it wrong???” she asked humbly…

The Sett Owl’s answer was kind…

“There is no evil in you curiosity…

It arises from your healing senses,

and you need not feel shamed by it…

But the questions you ask must be put to the fox himself…

Yet know this one thing:

for him,

sorrow is remembering and a reverence…”

— in little fur: A Fox Called Sorrow by Isobelle Carmody

Sometimes,

when you’ve been housebound,

for one reason,

or another,

it may seem,

as if you will never again,

have the strength,

or fitness,

to climb a mountain…

I often think about Nelson Mandela,

and his twenty-seven years,

of imprisonment…

No matter where you stand,

on the inside,

or outside,

of those shoes,

one could choose to name those years,

behind bars,

a wasted life…

But what happened during,

and what came after,

the confinement,

was sure proof,

of some powerful pudding…

Yesterday I got out of bed,

and after freshening up,

the litter box,

made good use of the seasonally rare,

sunny weather,

by climbing a mountain,

in my snow shoes…

At every vantage point,

I wondered if I should go a little further,

or turn back,

and following every wondering,

I heard a whisper,

which said,

You’ve come this far,

why not go all the way…

Most of the time I walked solo,

through the trail,

of snowy evergreens…

But on the occasion of meeting,

a fellow traveler,

on their return,

I asked,

rhetorically,

When will I reach the top???

The answer to that question is personal,

and qualitative,

with no straightforward measure…

It depends on how many steps,

and how many stops,

and so many other,

more mysterious,

things…

I liked the responses I received,

to the question…

Such as,

It doesn’t really matter does it,

you’re almost there,

and the view is so worth it…

The last part is the steepest…

It’s harder than any part of the trail so far,

but you’ll be happy you did it,

once you get up there…

If I can do it,

YOU can do it…

I wouldn’t turn around now…

There are whiskey jacks,

and ravens,

just waiting,

for some company…

It’s just one more,

little push,

so you might as well,

giv’er…

I took five,

ten,

fifteen,

steps at a time…

And then one after the other,

when the going got,

super vertical…

The whole time I was listening to the melt,

and slide,

of ice,

off the high branches,

in the late afternoon sun,

thinking,

You don’t have anything else pressing,

so you might as well,

just plough on…

When I got to the top,

I could see 360 degrees,

including,

but not exclusive to,

that magnificent pair of lions,

resting,

due North…

Making a magic carpet,

out of my backside,

I rode down,

to the parking lot,

in the blink of an eye…

Like it was all a dream…

By the time I got home for a soak in the tub,

I felt like a whole new person…

And this morning I woke up with a start,

from a scenario,

where a man,

bless his heart,

said to me,

I’m here to help move things…

But the truck I’m going to have to build,

to bring that elephant along,

is going to be costly,

so what do you want to do???

I looked at him,

and asked,

Which elephant is it???

And when I heard the name,

and past due date,

from somewhere way behind me,

I said,

I don’t even know how that one managed,

to squeeze past security…

But yes,

it is definitely time,

to expose the stowaway,

and put it to pasture…

Last year,

sometime around now,

I was purchasing equipment,

for a home repair…

When I was settling up the bill,

the shopkeeper said to me,

You’ve now got all the tools you need,

to run a business…

But you can’t be afraid to get dirty,

because this is certainly going to be messy work…

A few days ago,

I was standing at the counter,

trying to speak a language I do not know…

The woman on the other side of it,

was sensitive to my inexperience,

and my concern…

She gave me the forms,

and took the time to write some post-its,

with the quantities required,

despite the huffing,

and puffing,

of those in line behind…

Then before I walked away,

she spoke to one of my patterns,

by saying,

There’s no need for panic…

You’ve got all the time in the world…

Did the clown, make you smile???


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