Spiral ham…

Tupelo honey tastes buttery and melts on your tongue…

It never crystallizes…

Harvested for a few days each April…

it is one of the rarest and most valuable honeys in the world…

— SAVANNAH BEE COMPANY

When Little Gem and I were driving back along Old Lillooet Road after fishing yesterday I sighed…

She asked me what was wrong…

I said that I was missing that there would be no Canucks game on Thursday…

She said,

Mama, I know it’s a shame but this is good for you…

All you’ve been doing is watching hockey…

and knitting…

and loving me and sissy…

Other things are going to be needing your attention…

Next season will be here before you know it…

I told her that she’s right…

Due to all this sedentary activity my washboard stomach has been permanently set to delicate…

and my 1.2 million dollar assets have depreciated right into my rose velvet armchair…

Plus now I have zits from all of the playoff stress I’ve been absorbing…

It’s nothing but a heartache…

When I dropped her off to meet her Papa he came walking along with Starshine wearing his Habs jersey…

She giggled and said,

I can’t believe this…

at least it isn’t as embarrassing as his Speedo…

This week my liver has been acting up right under my diaphragm…

with regular pulsating pain waking me every night around 3 am…

And it flared while I was watching Livewire and I saw that pack of overfed hyenas roaming the Canucks dressing room like a salt truck driving through sore disappointment…

I want to know who gives the okay for media to have that kind of access to players…

A dressing room is a dressing room…

It is for the privacy of those who are dressing…

and undressing…

If I were in charge…

I would set up a game of shinny between anyone who has had made it their job to interview hockey players and THE hockey players for September 2010…

and any media bozo left standing gets permission to make a couple of reasonable inquiries…

outside the dressing room…

AFTER men who have been on the ice…

grinding it out…

have had time to shower, shine, and cuff-link a fresh pressed shirt…

just like Coach V…

This should be written into every new contract…

I was very pleased to hear Willie Mitchell talk about his healing process as he recovers from being hit from behind…

and experiencing a concussion…

He and I are on exactly the same page…

asking exactly the same questions…

Once he gets it all together again he will be a force to be reckoned with…

and I expect to see some rapid change in the department of game discipline…

I fell down the stairs one night after putting Little Gem to sleep…

Starshine was only five and she covered me with a blanket while I went into shock…

That was a major wake-up call…

and it started a process of strengthening that can best be captured by two words…

How long an hour can take...