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Muskrat love…

February 10, 2010

Yesterday I went for my usual Tuesday noon hour hula hooping,

at Starshine and Little Gem’s school…

But due to my chronic discomfort with being late I was way ahead of time…

I thought about sitting in the school foyer with my knitting,

but something pulled me outside,

and down the road to the Fraserview Golf course…

As soon as I got within view of the green I knew why I was there,

and I smiled…

She and I looked at each other for a few moments,

and then she trotted a few feet forward,

keeping her eye on me as she moved,

and hunted for mice…

She watched the ground intently,

and then pounced on lunch with her two front paws…

Then she peed a steady golden stream on the spot…

I giggled and then heard a SCHMACK!!!

I saw a golf ball bounce onto the green and roll within a few feet of her…

She looked like she’d seen it all before,

and carried on with her business,

as a four-some proceeded in her general direction…

I admired her confidence,

her stealth,

and her agility,

as she disappeared into the trees…

But not before I’d felt her magic…

In the silence of this whispered night...

Last month I went for some follow-up blood work…

And as I sat in the waiting room of my doctor’s office,

I watched the scenery…

A lot of people complain about having to wait,

for anything…

But there are so many things you can do while you sit or stand,

whether you are alone in your car,

or in a room full of people…

You don’t need to go to a class to do yoga,

or learn how to watch your mind,

or cleanse your organs with the Six Healing Sounds…

You can do it wherever you are,

for free…

On this day,

I sat with my knitting,

and my invisible notebook…

There were two mothers with very young babies,

waiting too…

One three week old baby was asleep in her bucket car seat…

The other baby was awake,

and nursing,

under some kind of breast feeding shield…

As I sat I remembered a Meet the Teacher Night when Little Gem was a baby,

and I was returning to my post,

after an eleven month maternity leave…

She was crawling all over the gym,

and I needed her to be still,

because I was supposed to sit on a chair ,

with the rest of the staff,

while waiting to be introduced,

to the students and parents,

gathered in the gym…

All sitting in orderly rows…

I got up to get Little Gem,

and then sat down,

and offered the breast,

without a second thought…

We had our own method for discretion and it didn’t involve trademarked products…

There was a time,

not that long ago,

when as soon as a teacher showed,

she had to quit her job…

There was no such thing as a leave of absence,

simply because it was considered immoral to show pregnancy in front of students…

The creativity of sperm meeting up with an egg,

and turning into a child who would go to school,

was considered too much information for tender years…

In the clinic waiting room sat a man…

One of those V.I.P. kind of men,

who aren’t really all that important to anyone except themselves…

You won’t see any of them around the Olympics,

because they’re so important they’ll be sequestered at tax-payer expense…

This V.I.P. was working his laptop…

One of those Hummer-size devices that V.I.P.’s like to carry around,

pull out,

and set up to be impressive…

I saw a lot of them in my doctoral seminars…

They look a lot smarter than they are,

and you can make them look even smarter by stacking great piles of philosophy books beside them and throwing quotes that you can’t for the love of god follow up on into the arena in between searching for images of Ernie and Bert,

and doing the fake or real breast test…

This is called multi-tasking,

and it is such mind bending work that you have to lean back on your chair and put your hands behind your head with your elbows sticking out at right angles and cross your ankle over your knee for emphasis just so that your level of intelligence won’t be missed by anyone in the room…

And with immense will-power you resist a healthy scratch because you might discover,

through some sleight of hand,

and no responsibility of your own,

that your balls have disappeared into thin air,

without par…

Seen through the haze of a mind-rot sedative...

I thought I was very important too so I carried around my own seminal work…

By the end of that semester I’d knitted a blanket that covers my queen size bed…

When the nurse in the waiting room called out an Anglo name,

an Asian woman stood up with her three week old baby in the bucket carseat…

The nurse looked at her like she was mistaken,

and said the name again…

Finally cluing in,

Mr. Hummerlaptop stood up and said,

This is Kira Bailey,

nodding at his baby…

The woman picked the baby up and followed the nurse…

I didn’t want to speculate,

but I was already in so deep with my own projections,

that I thought I saw evidence of a healing cesarean incision,

that should be bearing no weight…

The man followed with his precious electronics…

When I look around,

I often wonder how people can get together enough,

to make the miracle of a baby,

but in every other way,

are on such different planets,

the conception must have been a super artificial insemination,

involving salad tongs,

and oven mitts…

Contrast is critical for learning,

and as I sat reflecting,

I got to see the flip side of a different couple,

walking into the office with their new baby…

These parents were sharing the load…

They looked so happy with what they’d been given,

and what they had created,

together…

Then Mr. Bigbusiness walked back into the waiting room,

with the baby still asleep in her car seat…

He put baby down,

got out IPhone,

took a picture of baby,

smiled at picture on IPhone,

texted some stupidity,

then filled the waiting room with the noise of his very important phone call,

and his very important problem…

Like no one else in the whole Universe is having an issue,

with SHAW cable,

and their GD HD…

The mother of his child emerged from the reception desk,

and stood by her man,

waiting for him to finish up his battle with Shaw…

I watched the clock…

Five, ten, fifteen minutes…

She sat down with her own P.D.A.,

like a lost kitten…

And then when he had threatened,

and pressured,

to his own satisfaction,

he looked at her like,

It’s time to go

She got up…

He picked up the bucket,

and walked out,

re-debriefing his phone call,

like somehow she,

and we all,

might have missed every critical detail…

As the door closed behind them,

I sent the woman a ribbon of love,

straight from my heart…

And I sent the baby this pure thought,

I will see you in school…

When you're lost there's a light I'll shine...

You can find Coyote everywhere because of her keen intelligence and adaptive ability…

Coyotes have very cooperative hunting techniques…

While one rests the other gives chase…

Both parents train the young for hunting…

Theirs is a very close-knit family unit,

sometimes mating for life…

The father is very conscientious,

and participates in the care and raising of the young…

The male cares for his mate when she is pregnant,

helping to protect and feed her…

A coyote’s call touches the soul of whoever hears it,

and can express loneliness,

warn of danger,

or call for assistance…

Coyote is filled with paradox,

but at the heart of its energy is the balance of wisdom and folly that makes for a full-filling life…

Ted Andrews in Animal Speak

In your eyes I see that perfect world...

A woman smiled at me in the doctor’s waiting room,

as her little blond boy and I locked eyes…

She said,

Is that your first???

I laughed from my belly and said,

This is from having my first two…

But maybe what you’re seeing,

is my third…

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