Eagle outfitters…

The word ‘precocious’ comes from the Latin preacox,

meaning to precook or to boil beforehand…

Because precocity refers to remarkable early development,

the term is applied to young gifted children…

Many children who are highly gifted show precocity in particular areas of development,

such as language, music, or mathematical ability…

Genius was the original term used to indicate a particular aptitude or capacity…

Today,

we reserve the word for those persons who demonstrate extremely rare (superior) intellectual powers…

— in Children with Exceptionalities in Canadian Classrooms by Margret Winzer

I am,

at this very moment,

in recovery,

from shopping,

at Metrotown…

Holy smokes…

Starshine and Little Gem are going to a wedding this weekend,

and new dresses were in order…

On the drive over I figured out a thing or two…

Like if I want to listen to classical music in the car,

all I have to do is dance to every other preset on my radio,

and the c.d…

Classical music is boring,

but at least it doesn’t bring on embarrassment,

because there’s nothing for Mama to sing and dance along with…

The mall was a great site for building camaraderie with other parents…

I saw the other mothers pulling out suggestions,

and getting the face,

of disgust,

and how could yous…

It was like all of a sudden I was part of this new club…

A club where you can make friends in an instant,

based on a common ability to be a major blemish,

on the face of the earth…

I was told,

in a store that forgot it was selling clothes and thought it was a nightclub,

If you move an inch to this song,

I’m leaving,

and I’ll go down to the car…

The fact that the man formally known as Prince was singing about a red car,

that this was MY song in grade eleven,

and that I put the cool in school,

was irrelevant and unwanted information…

There was no end to the rain on my parade…

Another mother,

wearing dark sunglasses which nearly covered her whole face said,

It only gets worse…

Just wait until she’s fourteen…

I said,

They should be obligated to offer morphine injections at the door…

Or danger pay…

Her daughter gave her a death stare,

from a rack half-way across the 1st level…

Other mother said,

I have to go…

The problem is,

she doesn’t even know what she’s looking for…

We were like, ohmigod, so in the same boat…

A few minutes later Little Gem sat on the change room floor,

of XXI Forever,

wondering,

How long does shopping take, exactly???

This feels like hell,

and I want to go home…

Imagine,

this is something that Veronica Lodge does EVERYDAY…

Fortunately for group morale,

after three hours in the trenches,

the exercise was a success…

But my head still hurts,

and we walked out of that mine-field looking like death warmed over…

If you know anyone who doesn’t believe in the existence of alien life forms,

take them to a mall,

during back to school daze…

There’s something about this artificial,

transplanted environment,

that brings out the beastly,

in all of us…

Nothing a little episode of crime-drama wouldn’t cure…