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Nut cracker…

May 10, 2010

Mr. Gumpy owned a boat and his house was by a river…

One day Mr. Gumpy went out in his boat…

“May we come with you???” said the children…

“Yes,” said Mr. Gumpy,

“If you don’t squabble…”

— In Mr. Gumpy’s Outing by John Burningham

This afternoon I was driving a quad of girls,

out to Golden Ears Provincial Park,

for some lightning thief adventure,

on the beach,

where Gold Creek,

empties into Alouette Lake,

when I heard a comment,

from my back seat drivers,

right out of the mouth of a babe,

Mama, you don’t have to worry…

Sami Salo does not have a ruptured testicle…

I repeat…

Sami Salo does not have a ruptured testicle…

His testicle is just fine…

My radio was set to Coldplay,

so I asked where exactly,

she got that information…

In the rear view,

I could see a set,

of headphones,

stretching from one head,

to another,

We’re listening to the Beat…

And Mama, we’re wondering,

where exactly would one find Sami Salo’s testicle???

As soon as I started to go into,

location details,

I heard a request,

Could we change the subject please???

I obliged,

and turned on the Team 1040,

for more information…

And I heard a sports broadcaster,

asking someone from TSN,

what Canucks fans,

should think,

about the Canucks,

as we move forward,

into the post-season…

I almost went off,

the Dewdney Trunk Road…

Why in God’s name,

does a fan need,

to ask someone else,

what to think,

about their own GD team???!!!!!

Canucks fans were voted,

the smartest fans,

in the NHL,

by NHL players…

If that’s true,

then we’re in trouble here…

I don’t ask anyone,

what I should think,

and I’ve lost interest,

in basing my thoughts,

on other people’s opinions…

I’ll warn you,

that you should be,

very wary,

of mine,

because they aren’t yours,

and I could very well,

be messing,

with your head…

In fact,

I’ll guarantee it…

As I was writing this,

Little Gem was cleaning,

her room…

She checked in,

with my topic,

and after reading the post title,

she went over,

to her book shelf,

and said,

out loud,

to herself,

Now where is that book???

It’s So Amazing!

After finding,

what she was looking for,

she flipped directly,

to the page,

on Male Parts,

and pointed out,


that I didn’t know,

Mama, read this…

“The testicles are about the size of grapes or marbles when a boy is young…

During puberty, a boy’s two testicles grow to be the size of walnuts or very small balls…”

Then Little Gem stood,

and looked,

at the drawings,

with her head tilted,

to one side,

and shared,

her own opinion,

Actually testicles look like plums and that is what they should have been called…

Testicles is a bit gross,

it makes people think of liver…

Plums sound a lot more appealing…

Now let’s stop talking about this okay…

It’s my turn on the computer…

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