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Break through…

March 5, 2010

This week teacher told me that she finally saw my inner flamenca during bata de cola class…

She told me to visualize a core of stability from my neck down to my pelvis…

She supported that visualization by running her hands along my shoulders,

and down my back to the base of my spine…

And it worked,

because not only was in my zone of proximal development,

I was ready for the next step in my learning process…

I,

of course,

wanted to know when it was exactly that she saw my flamenca…

She said,

The timing doesn’t matter…

Just be happy that it happened,

and I saw it…

Yesterday I was out in Port Coquitlam watching Starshine and her school friends in their three-on-three basketball tournament at L’Ecole des Pionniers…

With teams from every francophone school in the Lower Mainland packed into a small school gymnasium,

this was a good opportunity for me to re-test my mettle…

And it was a great chance to see how crazy enthusiastic my child is about sports…

On the drive home I told Starshine how surprised I was that she cheers so intensely…

I told her that I wasn’t like that at her age,

and I’m still not…

I tend to be a quiet observer…

She told me,

Mama, this is important,

of course I’m going to cheer…

It matters to me that my team wins,

and that the other team from my school won,

because we cheer each other on…

I’d noticed that…

Even when the boys were playing in another court,

I heard them and saw them watching the girls,

and calling…

ALLEZ les filles!!!

And the girls did the same for the boys,

only at much higher pitch…

Starshine and I went for a post-tournament gelato on Commercial Drive…

While we were sitting there,

and I was looking over Jeff Paterson’s column in the Georgia Straight,

I read this aloud for her:

But what makes Toews so special is that he is smart beyond his years and has a hockey maturity many simply never develop…

He competes hard,

is positionally sound,

and has a calmness about him that allows him to thrive in big game situations…

There is a sense that when Toews is on the ice,

only good things will happen for his hockey team…

Starshine said,

Do you think that I’m like that???

I sent her a message mind to mind,

and then I backed it up with a hard copy,

just so that she has something she can hold onto,

for when she needs it…

On our drive home she asked me,

out of the blue,

Mama, have you ever wanted dreadlocks???

I said,

No…

Never…

I’m not sure how you keep things like that smelling fresh…

It looks like way too much hair…

But I wouldn’t mind to get braids sometime…

And then on my way to Tangos por fiesta class last night,

a man was waiting for the bus in front of the dance hall…

He asked me,

You got dreads under your hat???

I just giggled inside and said,

No, mon…

and kept walking so as not to be late for class,

as he said,

Nice,

in that long drawn out Jamaicaman sort of way…

Sometimes I wonder what some people see in me,

and other times I could give a rat’s ass…

Today I stayed in bed all morning,

because right now I can,

reading about An Gorta Mor (the Great Hunger),

in Greener Grass by Caroline Pignat…

With all this history behind us to learn from,

why it is that we still find it okay to live in a world where some people have so much,

and other people have absolutely nothing???

And how is it that some people think it’s just business and their god given right to make their fortunes off of the broken backs of other people???

I have a series of re-occuring dreams…

One of them is that I find myself in all of these different places where there is so much food…

The most beautiful, deliciously prepared food I’ve ever seen…

Food spilling out of cupboards…

Food displayed on endless tables that run from one end of a palace ballroom to another…

And I am trying a bite of EVERYTHING…

I wake up from these dreams so full and satisfied that I don’t need to eat all day…

But this is a choice…

I have no idea what it is like to really go hungry,

and to feel like there is never enough,

for the rest of your life,

until you and your wife and all of your children die,

one by one,

or altogether…

Because this time around I have so much more than enough…

Through the storm we reach the shore…

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