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I’ll give you 110%…

October 3, 2009

I love Paris in the Springtime…

Hawaii in the Winter,

and Tofino in the Fall…

Little Gem was singing to me in the tub this evening…

as I was soaking my post-stick and puck aches and pains…

Really no aches and pains, only some stiffness and drama creation…

Eckhart Tolle warns against drama but a little bit of it is fun…

And in our house of girls we live for a few moments of high drama at least once a day…

like a flock of ducks with their occasional squabbles on a pond of mostly peace…

YOU can sing me anything...

YOU can sing me anything...

As I soaked and Little Gem sang I reflected on a passed life when I lived with Starshine and Little Gem’s father…

and how a few hours of Sunday morning soccer could take up a whole day…

There was the preparation of THE kit…

The pre-game at home stretching…

The drive out to the suburban astroturf field which should have been returned to wildlife…

The dressing in the change room…

The game…

The undressing in the change room…

The shower…

Coaches Corner out by the mini-vans and station wagons where every exciting moment of the game is verbally re-lived…

The drive home…

The hot bath etc…

With the one hour of yoga class that I could barely get myself to once a week I was incredulous at how two periods of 45 minute game time could equal five hours…

This mister played with men who required high level numeracy skills in their day jobs,

but somehow the math on the weekends didn’t add up…

Two halves sounded like it was equaling up to a whole lot of doing nothing…

But I now see that I was looking through the lens of resentment,

and this lens amplifies inequalities and inconsistencies…

some false and some true…

A friend who is still nursing her toddler lays out the full deelio,

from her perspective…

She says,

Peace and Love to Frank,

but when he goes out to play hockey at 8-Rinks,

which I understand is really important for his mental health,

he comes home exhausted and falls asleep…

When I go out for some time to myself I come home and nurse all night long… I

‘m exhausted too but at this point in the game falling asleep isn’t an option for me…

I’m really not sure how not to have some anger in those moments…

I’m not at the stage of acceptance yet…

Even though she already knows this,

I remind her that her feelings are real,

and they’re definitely okay…

I’m not the Dalai Lama,

I believe that anger is critically important information to work with,

and to express…

I tell her she could always add the following feature to give some light to her middle of the night evil eye meditation…

A repetitive mantra that I learned from Little Gem…

Mama, no matter what…

even when I’m mad at you…

you need to remember that I love you…

more than 100%…

When any of you are at GM place for a good game of hockey,

please spend some time thinking about giving,

110%,

in the name of love,

to a girl…

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