Cottoning on…

Little Gem called me Sunday morning…

all out of breath with excitement…

she starts grade two on Tuesday with the rest of the back to school world…

Mama, I got my violin and some pretty new shoes that I can run in, really fast…

I can ride my bike all on my own now…

and oh yeah…

I bought a t-shirt that says

Bee yourself…

Usually a few minutes before the weekly transfer when Little Gem and her older sister go from being with me to her other home with their dad and their stepmom, she nails me with some out of the blue insight…

some words to chew on while I’m on my own…

By the time she climbs out of our big red car my neck is twisted around the stick shift and the rest of my body has slid to the floor jammed in between the brake and the clutch…

in shock from her infinite precision…

There is never any mercy and there is no where to hide…

even once I get home…

because her words rip through me until I sit in the feelings they bring up and let the rollers pass…

it has taken a lot of focus and intention to move out of old habits of distraction and blocking…

and to have faith that this to will pass…

Initially I feared the words and the lessons…

but now I look forward to them…

they give me insight into what I’m processing or integrating at that time…

insight into what I can’t always see or feel…

The last time we parted she said,

Mama it is really important to pay attention to what feels good in your body…

if something doesn’t feel good just don’t do it…

AND

It is really easy to forget things that you don’t want to remember…

I said,

It isn’t so easy to forget when the memories are in your body and you don’t even know that they are there…

She said,

You’re right but what you need to know is that when you do remember your mind makes things so much bigger than they really are…

I’m putting the word out there that if the Canucks really want the Stanley Cup this year they should consider putting Little Gem and Starshine on the roster as Assistant Life Coaches…

Just for when the team starts to lose some perspective…

'cause the walls were shaking...