Marshalling resources…
There are times,
I feel guilty,
that my children,
aren’t growing up,
with religion,
but then I remember,
that guilt,
is the sole purpose,
of religion,
as it is articulated,
through man…
Last week I watched a group of people,
singing with false harmony,
outside of Sochi 2014 at Science World…
The crowd around them were mediating reality,
with their IPhone cameras,
like crazy,
because they believed these people,
to be authentic,
Russian folksingers…
A young bottle blond approached me,
as she handed out,
cards of prophecy…
She said,
When you’re having hard times you just have to ask Jesus into your heart…
He is always there for you…
I must have given here one of my looks because she quickly added,
I’m not trying to push my ideas on you…
I said, nicely,
Oh yes you are…
Why don’t you tell your truth…
That’s what Jesus wants…
And I’m getting a message from him right now…
He’s telling me that you should stop talking about what you think he was saying,
and just BE IT…
When I’m having a tough time I lean on a shot of Russian vodka,
triple-filtered,
and quadruple distilled…
I handed back her card,
in the name of old growth,
and my own green lies…
On Thursday I accompanied Starshine’s class for a walk around town,
to see Olympic sights…
At the 2010 Aboriginal Pavillion a man was dressed,
in traditional costume…
And he made himself available,
for photos…
A real Imaginary Indian,
right before my very eyes…
He voiced a frozen mantra,
Thank you for being here,
I am so happy in my heart,
as he stood in the middle of crowds of tourists,
snapping pictures of hypocrisy…
I tried to feel his heart while I sat down to eat oven roasted turkey breast and Swiss,
on a baguette…
My bull-shit detector didn’t show a smiley face…
When Starshine walked over to me after her class photo opportunity,
I asked how that was for her…
She said,
It felt weird…
Yesterday afternoon I was totally on the band wagon…
Starshine and Little Gem came home just in time to sit down for the 4:30 face-off at Canada’s Hockey Place,
watching live feed on my MacBook…
I make sure that when I’ve done something I’m not proud of in the name of parenting that I apologize,
tout de suite…
And I make every effort to learn from,
and not repeat,
my mis-takes…
On Hockey Day in Canada I was feeling superficial remorse for not raising my girls with steady faith,
in our national religion…
It is their signature fashion to be accommodating and reassuring,
when I’m off my rocker…
They both chirped,
That’s okay Mama,
you make really good at other things,
like making schnitzel…
Hockey and church don’t do it for us anyway…
We’re moving to the beat of a different drum…
When I was riding home from Costco at 3:45 Pacific Standard Time yesterday,
my bike basket full of fresh baguettes,
and my head protected from the red and white throng by a Tony Hawk,
I ran into two young American hockey fans at the corner of Main and Union…
I wished them and their team the best of luck…
Even though I was cheering for my home team,
I always have enough love to go around…
They thanked me for my support,
and asked me for directions to the closest bar or restaurant ,
where they could watch the game…
As I gave their request my best shot,
a car pulled up tight along the curb where we stood,
the driver slapped his horn and flipped the bird at these two young Americans in their hockey jerseys,
while driving a top speed…
I asked them if they’d experienced a lot of this kind of behaviour as they stroll the city…
They said that they had…
Some of the taunting was funny,
and some of it was down right scary…
I offered a collective apology,
and I felt sad in my heart…
Hockey has a lot of growing up to do…
And so do sports fanatics…
Medals don’t come easy…
By joining right action with right prayer,
we may have a hope in hell,
of turning lead,
into gold…
We have blood, and we have grace…
Pourous defence…
Last night I was thinking,
about how I completely missed,
the last two Olympic Winter Games…
But then when I remembered,
what I was doing at the time,
I realized that,
I was going,
for a different kind,
of gold…
In 2002,
I did not have my attention on Salt Lake…
I was in the first trimester of my pregnancy with Little Gem,
commuting 60 to 75 minutes a day from Vancouver to Richmond,
working full time with the most challenging combined class of six and seven year olds,
that I have ever had,
the gift to experience,
and Starshine was two years old…
And the only thing that could keep me still,
was a wave of nausea…
Six months after that,
I was in Robertson Lighting,
buying a ceiling fan…
The saleswoman looked at me and said,
You are the most beautiful pregnant woman that I have ever seen…
Your husband must be so in love with you…
When I heard that I just dropped right down onto the floor,
and killed myself,
laughing…
When the woman heard my short story,
she gave me a special price,
because of how I could hold,
my sense of humour,
in light,
of the absurd…
In February 2006 my eyes were not on Turin…
They were looking intently,
inward…
Turning attention to removing shields,
and healing a shattered heart,
on the flight of an eagle,
with the strength,
and commitment,
of a mother bear…
Early this morning I had a dream,
that I was flying over spikey trees…
The trees were full of nests,
that were full of birds…
Tiny little birds,
called honeybees…
In my flight I had to land here,
and there,
in these trees,
and with each landing,
my feet were embedded with quills…
I could feel them burrowing into my skin…
I had to stop,
too distracted by pain,
to continue my flight…
I sat on the ground surrounded by people…
Some of them had stopped on their path,
to help me remove the quills,
that had now become shards of wood,
in order for me,
continue my journey…
At first I allowed the help,
but then I wanted to find my way,
alone…
I slowly pulled the shards,
one-by-one,
from my skin…
One of the shards,
became a jagged sliver,
of oak,
that had wedged itself into my skin,
ripping holes,
then my feet and skin,
suddenly transformed,
into a muscle,
wrapped in opaque casing…
With the care and precision,
of a very experienced,
cardiac surgeon,
I removed this last piece of wood,
from the double-walled sac,
and I knew,
that I’d finished,
what I’d started…
Getting it done right…
The sac had repaired its holes,
and the muscle beat,
with the percussion,
of horse feet,
pounding,
on solid grassland…
At first I didn’t know,
where to put this sac,
and muscle,
that I held in my hands…
I asked them,
Who are you???
and,
Where do you belong???
And then I felt the sac and the muscle,
guide my hands,
from my belly,
where I had performed the delicate extractions,
up to my chest,
until the pieces,
slipped right into place…
And then I knew who they were,
and the work that I had done,
with them…
Not one bit of it easy,
but completely worth,
every effort,
to find my way,
back home…
You are melody in numbers... (photo: Starshine)
Wild fire…
The lesson for tonight is that once you start something you finish it…
Eldon Montgomery, father of skeleton athlete Jon Montgomery…
I had a dream this morning that I was dreaming…
I was in bed asleep and woke up because I felt this incredible presence,
and strength,
surrounding me…
What I noticed when I first opened my eyes was that there was a chestnut filly,
and a cremello colt,
relaxing on the floor…
And a cremello Lusitano stallion standing at the foot of my bed…
All of them looking at me intently…
I was slightly startled to find three horses in my bedroom…
I asked them what they were doing…
The stallion said,
We’re just waiting for you to wake up from your dream…
We’ve been waiting for a while now…
Practicing our patience…
I got out of bed and sat on the ground beside the chestnut filly…
She put her head right in my lap and I started to brush her mane…
There are no words to describe the feeling of being approached with that measure of trust and surrender…
It must be something like the feeling of being reunited with your herd…
Or winning gold…
Those three words are said too much, they're not enough... (photo: Starshine)
Canuck'd 