Canuck'd

This morning,

I woke up,

from a dream,

in which,

I was laughing,

my head off,

while reading,

the sports section,

of the Vancouver Sun…

Sitting around a breakfast table,

with others,

who were doing,

the same thing…

I woke up,

to the phone ringing,

at 8:00 am…

Little Gem was dropped off,

for the day,

an hour or so,

after,

the wake-up call…

She had pulled a muscle,

in her foot,

while playing tag,

right before she was going,

to get on the school bus,

at the end of the day,

and wanted to be at home,

for some of Mama’s first aid…

After the drop off,

I was sewing,

some new buttons,

onto an old hand-knit sweater,

while Little Gem sipped,

a smoothy…

And then she threw,

some Scrabble tiles,

onto the table,

from right out,

of the blue,

by asking,

Mama,

what’s manipulation???

I had to breath deep,

into all of,

my diaphragms,

before I could go there…

And then I felt the pockets,

of blocked energy,

I’ve been storing,

in my liver…

Energy,

that has been,

slow cooking,

right next to my heart,

and is coming up,

for release…

I prefer to answer questions,

by asking questions,

especially when,

there are no,

easy answers…

What made you think of that???

The word just popped into my head…

Do you feel like you’ve been manipulated before???

Yes…

What happened???

Someone was trying to get me to do something,

they wanted,

in a way,

that wasn’t honest…

I don’t think that I could have given you a better definition…

It sounds like you know what manipulation means,

from your own experience…

I’m not sure why,

but it has been very difficult,

for me,

to be aware of,

when I’m allowing myself,

to be manipulated…

I start out with a basic trust,

in others,

that they will treat me,

in the same way,

that I treat them…

This has led,

to some,

rude awakenings…

Even when,

I have been given clear,

and direct warning,

that I am dealing,

with an individual,

who will lie,

to get what he wants,

I somehow can’t see it,

or don’t want to believe it…

But I feel it,

and my radar is strengthening,

from the gift,

of all this exercise…

Now I’m working,

on reconfiguring,

old programs of response,

on the spot…

This isn’t easy work…

If I could do it again,

I’d become,

a high-voltage,

electrician…

They’re specifically experienced,

with generators,

transmission,

and all the stuff,

that you can’t see,

hiding behind walls…

All that stuff,

running underground,

and overhead…

The stuff that is controlled,

by switches,

and can zap you,

from out of nowhere…

Burning bridges,

faster,

than a speeding bullet…

Yesterday someone said to me,

It amazes me how you have chosen,

and committed,

to holding onto your sensitivities,

despite all of the obstacles,

and challenges,

that have been in your way,

because of how much you love other people…

Giving up,

has crossed my mind,

when it was holding hands,

with fear…

But my heart said,

Not this time…

And then giving up,

and fear,

both walked away,

into a cloud,

of blowing smoke…